Dispatch From The Novel Editing Trenches

Mid-October, how did we arrive here so fast? I’m pacing my bedroom, avoiding the desk, free of words. I’ve handed my final chapters to my editor but can’t quite separate myself from people who don’t exist, or the habit of writing.

After tidying, putting fresh sheets on the bed, taking myself out for coffee, I realise that I don’t want a break. I don’t want to leave Ballygloom, Birdstane or the snow-bluffed shores of Argyll. And these distractions are somewhat painful, a little bittersweet. Because I do need a break from the world I’ve created in order to remember that there are other things and people and places.

My feet haven’t quite touched the ground this year. My mind, like the landscapes of my book, is shrouded in fog. I zone out of conversations, stare into space. I haven’t felt connected to anything except this book, and even then it’s not this book, but the promise of something better, frustratingly close yet far away. I repeat the phrase, “You can’t rush mediocrity“ but the message never sinks in.

I realise this is not How I Found An Editor or 10 Tips for Editing Your Novel but today I am a little fed-up of information. Aren’t you? I sat down, with an urge to write, and this is what spilled out. My blog is a diary, a space for disparate thoughts to land and perhaps make sense of. I don’t aspire to be top in the Google rankings. I’d rather people felt comforted or inspired after reading my blog, not harassed or anxious by an overabundance of advice. I’ve been blogging online, on and off, for around ten years and the reason for that is a passion for words and imagery. Blogging, to me, was always about creativity and connecting with like-minds. It was about writing to ‘taste life twice’, as Anais Nin put it. And without sounding cheesy it was about self-discovery - exploring my interests, thinking about the person I want to be and developing the kind of lifestyle I want to lead.

Obviously, this kind of self-absorption doesn’t lend itself to ‘serving an audience’ with listicles 😂

As online spaces become increasingly homogeneous I’d rather go my own way and use my blog for its original purpose: a place for words with no destination, an open diary of thoughts & experiences for kindred souls to stumble upon and a way to make sense of the world.