Why You Need Writing Affirmations
Do writing affirmations really work? Yes, I’ve concluded, to a spooky degree. I took an interest after discovering that one of my key love languages (as a Scot, my toes curl writing that sentence) is Words of Affirmation.
Until recently, I was a jaded optimist. ‘Think positive’ - the internet’s clarion call - had lost its power. Despite suspecting that a sunnier outlook would unlock the door to joy, my British passport wouldn’t allow it. Just let me brood over a cup of tea ✋
Then I read The Body Keeps The Score by Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk. Turns out, there’s a fair bit of neuroscience to persistent negative thoughts. I finally understood why I hope for the best but fundamentally expect the worst, and why that mindset holds me back.
Maybe the following patterns sound familiar: You fall short of your own expectations. Success is tarnished by the looming question, “But will it last?” Opportunities slip by because you’re “not good enough”. You’re at odds with what you want or don’t know what you want. Maybe you do know what you want, but not how to get there. Daily life is a struggle. Meanwhile, the young team zoom past and overtake you.
Since bitterness is unbecoming, you bundle it up in a self-deprecating bow of false hope: Oops, maybe one day I’ll have my shit together lol 🙃
Or maybe you’re just a realist? 😏
The trouble with expecting the worst is that you plan for it. Hope and action misalign in a daily frogmarch of ‘should dos’, poor concentration and dullness. Meanwhile the ‘If only’ overture soars above, lofty and intangible. Those “one day” dreams start to look like something you want to shoot out of the sky. (This post is going somewhere positive, I promise).
As a writer, I’ve definitely internalised the ‘genius’ myth that real writers are born, not made. I often catch myself repeating a version of these doubts: If I was a real writer the words would come easily. My first draft would be perfect, I’d never need to edit. This shouldn’t be so hard.
Take a moment to consider how self-sabotaging these beliefs are. If I believe that real writers are perfect geniuses who never need to rewrite, I’m less inclined to put arse to chair and work on my novel. I might query agents before I’m ready, then the inevitable rejections confirm my belief that I’m a ‘bad writer’. Or maybe I never reach the query stage, rewriting my manuscript endlessly until it’s ‘perfect’.
The thing is, writing can be easy, fun and stress-free if your beliefs about yourself match your goals.
“I am a bad writer therefore I will get published” doesn’t make sense. The logical step to being a bad writer is not getting published, and if you’re clinging to the belief that you’re bad, then your actions will align with that belief. You’ll put less effort into writing, or give up altogether.
Aha! Now it’s making sense. Let me try…
“I’m a… 🤢 good writer and my…🤢publication dream…🤮🤮🤮”
Nah, I can’t say it. It’s too cheesy, I can’t.
Right, here’s the bottom line: I need to acknowledge that me, with my rudimentary knowledge and imperfections, am capable of success. Good writers put in effort to get the results they want. Doesn’t this perspective make you excited to write and curious to learn all you need to know about your craft? (When I say ‘you’ I do mean you, dear reader, but also me. I’ve literally had to separate from myself to write about positive affirmations 🤣)
*deep breath*
“I am a good writer and my publication dream is coming true 🥰.”
There, I said it! Uncomfortable, but the world didn’t cave in.
‘Believe in yourself’ sounds so simple but it’s my biggest stumbling block. I know I should believe in myself, but how?
In The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk acknowledges that pointing to past achievements as evidence of personal success won’t help someone whose brain is hardwired to spot and avoid danger. In this way, pessimism can be seen as a survival tactic. “I don’t want to be disappointed” reworded to “I don’t want to get hurt”. But unchecked self-doubt masquerading as ‘realism’ can have devastating consequences - we literally become stuck in outdated fears.
That’s why it’s so important to replace affirmations of doubt, guilt or blame with something positive. Words hurt, but they can also heal.
As writers we turn to words for solace from a critical world, first via books, and then by writing our experiences down as a way to understand them. When I properly analysed my writing struggles, I usually found a bigger negative belief glowering behind it all.
If you’re rolling your eyes, I’d have been the same not too long ago. How can words on a piece of paper change my life? To that I’d say, what about your favourite book? Didn’t that leave an imprint beyond ink on the page? Words, or more accurately, stories, can and do shape our lives.
If the stories you tell about yourself are holding you back, maybe it’s time to redraft.
How you can use writing affirmations to manifest literary success
Write them down. I found it easier to override habitual negative thoughts with a physical reminder. Printed words are powerful. Look at tabloid headlines; regardless of their truth a memorable phrase sticks. There’s a trust factor to the written word and a sensory delight, too. I write my affirmations on comforting, textured paper with an inky black pen.
Keep affirmations short. Again, the shorter an affirmation the more memorable it will be. With repetition you’ll be able to summon a positive affirmation at a moment’s notice, keeping bad thoughts in check.
Write affirmations in the present tense. The idea is to trick your brain into believing you already have what you want. You create your own reality instead of kicking your dreams and happiness into the non-existent future.
Read affirmations daily. I keep my affirmations in my sock drawer, so I see them every morning. I also try to cycle through them at night before bed (the time of day I’m most prone to anxious thoughts). When I started using affirmations I’d keep a slip of paper in my pocket and read it throughout the day (portability is another reason to write them down!).
Surrender to the inevitable. I’m still working on this one 😉 I’ve read that the quickest way to manifest your affirmations is to forget them. Write them down, repeat them once or twice throughout the day, and in between just let go. Imagine your desire coming true is as inevitable as having lunch today. As easy as Sunday follows Saturday. “I’m making my dreams come true.” “I’m having soup for lunch today.” Don’t be desperate, be confident that you’re making things happen.
So far I’ve used affirmations to manifest
writing stories that I’m proud of & excited to share with ease
writing the first draft of a second novel during lockdown
working with a creator I admire
making money from writing
making literary connections
creating and selling the Novel Magic Kit (which includes affirmations galore ✨)
Once I’d internalised the affirmations, I naturally took actions in line with my goals. I became less anxious and more open to expanding my world, rather than shrinking it to a narrow zone of comfort. For example, I entered Fairy Words for the Zealous Short Story Prize and won £100!
It’s baffling to me that I never considered words as the solution to my problem. Often the answer to our troubles is staring us in the face! The best thing about words of affirmation is how natural the process feels - selecting the right phrase, writing it out by hand, carrying it around like a secret spell. (Actually, it just occurred to me that you could rename affirmations to spells or cheat codes if that’s more your thing).
Try it! Writing can be a doubt-ridden struggle or a path to the life you want. It’s up to you.